9-11

I’m not into sappy poems or graphic pictures, and I have no interest in seeing the movies they were so quick to make, but here are the things that I remember most clearly working near Philadelphia that day.  The sound of the woman’s voice when she called to cancel her appointment because her son was in the tower and all I could say was I’m so sorry,  the veterinary colleague living in north Jersey who called to say “you’ll never believe it they are so short on Drs they have me working on humans”, and the complete stillness as I drove home early from work-no planes, no traffic, no one at the mall, just silence.

Everyones hurting right now

Wisper a prayer for Gilbert the parot for me today. I came home yesterday to find blood all over the bird room. She had the tiniest little cut on her foot that would not stop bleeding. We tried bandages, stiptic powder, everything. I was so afraid she would bleed to death. She looked better this morning, but still I’m sure she’s anemic. She’s 20 years old and I’d really like to have her another 20 years, shes such a good bird. And Mike’s knee is still sore, Sharon’s been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, and I sprained my wrist when Ponti decided to be an idiot. So I think we are just going to take it easy this weekend.

Cindy’s job hunting

I don’t usually talk about what I really do for a living, but now’s the time for networking. I am a research assistant in pharmacology under (here comes the full title) Sandra Roerig, PhD, Dean for Graduate Studies, Associate Dean for Research, Professor of Pharmacology, Toxicology, and Neuroscience. Basically I test pain killers on mice (please keep in mind I do have veterinary training and know how to handle them safely and humanely) and I pretty much run my own lab, with her checking in occassionally. Dr. Roerig announced yesterday that she is not renewing her research grant, and that unless private funding suddenly comes through, I have till the end of June. Now of course she is going to help me find a placement, but I need to start looking. Best case scenario: I get transfered to a different professor here at LSU, and maybe even get a raise (Dr Roerig said I did deserve one last year, she just couldn’t afford me). Worst case scenario: I need to look at other Universities or pharmaceutical companies. I do NOT want to take a step backward in my career, so unless its getting to be June and I’m having no luck, I’m not really going to look at hourly positions. I also do not want to relocate, what would we do with the animals, but we need to go where the money is or we won’t be able to feed them all anyways. We do rely pretty heavily on my salary, I carry all our insurance and pay a lot of bills, Mike’s is our daily living money. The nice thing about what Mike does is he could do it just about anywhere, so if we have to move, we move. So, if you know of anything in the field of scientific research, veterinary medicine (university level) or anything high paying, let me know. I am willing to learn anything as far as new skills go too.

There’s a ghost in the barn

You’re gonna think I’m crazy, and I wasn’t sure I believed it myself except for what the horses did.  That old barn’s always creeped me and the horses out, but I thought it was just because it was old and dark.  We had a bonfire out by it last night, and some friends who are into all that energy stuff, and didn’t know that it already scared me, said there was a presence in it.  They were keeping an eye on it, (I never saw it myself I did try) when one girl said look it just came out of the barn, and there went the horses.  They shot out of the shed and galloped around and Baccus stood staring and snorting at the very spot she was pointing at, and she hadn’t said it lound enough that it could have been her voice that spooked him.  He could apparently see something, and Rhiannon didn’t get scared but she stood looking in the barn window.  It was enough to creep me out alright.  I don’t think I’m going in there again.  I told it to stay in the barn and stop scaring my horses and it better not come up to the house or we’re gonna have to get the pastor out here.

Darwin Day

Here’s an interesting thing. There’s a poster at work about Darwin Day 2007 on Feb 11, 3-8:30 at the Unitarian Church. They will be having a Evolution and Creation forum. Dave Scultz Ph.D. will defend evolution and Milton Slocum, MD will defend creation. Being a Christian school kid, I’ve had to go to these things before and they can be pretty interesting. I’ve seen them go both ways. Sometimes they get a stupid Christian who can’t hold his own against a Ph.D., and sometimes they get a Christian who actually knows enough science to kick butt against an evolutionist who’s never been realistically challenged. The MD in this case is an LSU professor, he may actually know how to defend himself. Personally I don’t get too worked up about it, because wether you believe God did it or it happened by chance it all comes down to faith in the end, but it can be fun to talk about if everyone behaves civilly.

Ethanol fuel questions

Ok, here’s another example of how out of the news I am, maybe everyone else knows all about this stuff already, so maybe someone can fill me in a little. All I know about ethanol is what little I’ve heard from the environmentalists, that it is supposed to get us off oil, that it is supposed to put farmers back in business, its supposed to be good for the environment, and that it worked real well for Brazile. But I just heard some rumors about the down side of it this weekend, and I was wondering which rumors are more likely true. I heard its the reason the price of horse feed is going up. And soon the price of anything made with corn syrup (not that its good for you anyways) will go up. And then the price of cotton will go up because all the farmers are growing corn. And it isn’t like we’ve got world hunger solved- why are we turning food into gasoline if we don’t have enough food to begin with? Does that sound a little strange to anyone else? And I bet the price of land will suddenly go up too. Bad news for hobby farmers like us. And is corn really a reliable source? What about droughts, and winter weather, and mass farming wearing out the soil? Are they going to grow it all in hot houses? It just doesn’t sound like it is going to solve any problems to me.

Prayer for the day

I recieved this prayer as an email forward.  I’m not into forwarding emails, but I thought it was very interesting.

 When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the
Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but
this is what they heard;

“Heavenly Father,
We come before you today
To ask your forgiveness and
To seek your direction and guidance.

We know Your Word says,
“Woe to those who call evil good” But that is exactly what we have done.

We have lost our spiritual equilibrium
And reversed our values.

We have exploited the poor and
Called it the lottery.

We have rewarded laziness
And called it welfare.

We have killed our unborn and called it choice.

We have shot abortionists
And called it justifiable.

We have neglected to discipline
Our children and called it
Building self esteem.

We have abused power
And called it politics.

We have coveted our neighbor’s
Possessions and called it ambition.

We have polluted the air
With profanity and
Pornography and called it
Freedom of speech and expression.

We have ridiculed the time
Honored values of our
Forefathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us, Oh, God,
And know our hearts today;
Cleanse us from every sin
And set us free.
Amen!”

Why I don’t watch the news

Mike and I were talking about having one of his friends over who is Muslim, and I’m excited because I’ve never sat down and talked to a Muslim before, and then it occured to me that I have no idea what’s going on in the news in that part of the world right now. Not that that would necessarily be part of the dinner conversation, but it made me think about why I don’t care to watch the news. One, I tend to think it is entirely biased. They show you only what they want you to see so they can get their sensational story out and get everyone riled up. Two, its usually downright depressing. Who really wants to hear about the latest murderer before they go to bed? I think there should be a news station that only does happy stories. What would happen if we only told the good things that happen, and only say supportive things about the president, and highlighted the good things this country has done instead of the criminals. Maybe there’s a website that already does that, I don’t know, I do watch the discovery channel, but there should be on one prime time TV, so we could learn whats going on without all the destructive talk. Think about the power of positive. It could change the world.

The horse rescue and racism

I recieved this letter from the horse rescue. They were donated a property and then forced out, a big part of the problem being racism from the black community, and it demonstrates why I don’t have a whole lot of sympathy for some people down here. I know its long, but it states the problem well.

“Hopeful Haven Equine Rescue Organization (HHERO) needs a Hero!
 
Would you welcome a horse rescue facility to your neighborhood?  It seems that you would in this day and age as long as it was an asset to your neighborhood.  As long as it was kept up and the horses were cared for, what would be the problem?  Well, it seems that at a community meeting at Mount Olive Baptist Church on Highway 169 in Shreveport, a select few residents of the Rolling Ridge Area have a real problem with it. 
 
When Hopeful Haven Equine Rescue started moving the facility in, they were so excited to have a 5 year lease donated to them where they could bring the horses to a beautiful established pasture land.  They were also excited to have a facility that would educate school children on animal abuse.  They were looking forward to having 4H children and Scouts could come and earn horsemanship badges.  They were excited to bring something to a neighborhood that would benefit from the rescue’s presence.  A place they would be proud to have in their community and for their children to come to.  They were proud to give back to a man that loves horses and has given numerous community projects the chance to enjoy his retirement with his wife and sit on the porch and watch the horses graze in the evening sunset as they so enjoy to do.  They were proud to have a presence of law enforcement more involved in a neighborhood that has been in the past and still is riddled with crime and drug abuse.  Neighbors were telling us they were so glad to have the presence of law enforcement show more of an appearance in their neighborhood.
 
Never did they have a clue that a neighborhood would become so divided between themselves and accuse the rescue of dividing them.  Why would they turn on a man who plowed their parents gardens and who helped them when they needed?  Now he wanted to put something nice in their neighborhood.  Their parents would have been shocked to see how their children were acting if still alive.  Who would think a few select people would stand up in a church and call a non profit organization that has worked in the parishes feverishly to give a haven to abused horses liars and accuse them of pulling the wool over the eyes of the people and not be bringing in abused and neglected horses, but sick and diseased?  They also were called a money making scheme.  These words come from ignorance. Evidently from those who have no knowledge of what goes on in outside communities. 
 
Who would have thought that two self -proclaimed community advocates would not want something to benefit their neighborhood and community?  If Hopeful Haven Equine Rescue were a money making scheme, they would not work 7 days a week for no pay themselves but accepting donations to pay vet bills to revive these horses and make them able to have a safe and loving home. Hopeful Haven is an all volunteer organization, and I would like to know how it is a money making scheme?  This is a group that sits for four days a month on a chair at Canton Trade Days educating people on animal abuse with no pay.  That sits in courtrooms for hours on end with no pay awaiting a defendant to go to trial.  That hauls horses to veterinarians taking up half their days and then some. Again with no pay. This shows just how ignorant some people can be.  That they don’t know what the word charity means and think everything has to have a price tag with it.  These self proclaimed advocates told Debra Barlow that “These people up here don’t all have an education, and they need someone to open their eyes to these things and speak for them”.  I don’t care how uneducated you are, you are always able to learn something new every day.  You don’t need someone to speak for you.  If you are going to be the representative for your community, at least be educated yourself and not show the ignorance that has been shown here.  Hopeful Haven Equine Rescue is a very well respected organization and will continue to be respected as such. Many parishes request their presence for animal cruelty investigations and many other neighborhoods will welcome their presence. If you had knowledge of the organization and their works or took the time to find out before you condemned them, you would know that.   For someone to not want progress in their area, and wants to stay regressed, makes me question their motives. One of these advocates had the nerve to say “What’s in it for me?” That just shows their mentality and thinking.  A person like that only thinks of themselves and no one else. 

The other said to me, “What if I, a black man, came to your neighborhood and put this in your neighborhood?” I was shocked.  Being from up North, this was my first real experience with color being an issue.  My response was,  “I don’t care what color you are.  If you came to my neighborhood with something good for my children and the animals I would welcome you with open arms.” To me, color is only what you make it.  My adopted son is Black, Puerta Rican, and Mexican.  I never see his color.  I see my son.  His response to all this is if that is how they want to act, I don’t want to claim that part of my race.  I want my son to be proud of who he is and all the races he represents.  I don’t want him to see color as an issue as I didn’t when I took him as an infant into my arms. I don’t want him to follow that frame of thinking and continue the cycle.  I am sad that in this day and age, people still want to hang on to their prejudices.  That is why our area can’t progress.  That is why some neighborhoods have nothing and will never have nothing except the crime and drug dealing.  For the self proclaimed advocates who have a problem with the badge I question your motives and why you really don’t want us in there.
 
There are many different divisions of law enforcement.  There are coroners, animal control officers, investigators, and a variety of law enforcement that carry the star on the doors of their vehicles so they are easily identifiable at a site where their presence is required.  I for one am very proud to carry that star on the door of my truck.  It says what it says.  It represents law enforcement of animal cruelty laws. If you have a problem with it, then it’s your problem.
 
One dear lady, Dorothy Voltaire, stood in front of all the people in the church and stood up for what she felt was right.  She said the horses don’t bother anybody and she liked looking at them.  She lives right next to the pasture.  She stated that the issue of flies was in the neighborhood before we came.  (Hopeful Haven uses fly control pellets in their feed). She asked how many times does HHERO have to apologize to anyone they may have offended by moving in first and then telling them what they were putting in there.  She also stated that this needs to stop and everyone needs to get along and work together.  During her speaking, she was chastised, ridiculed, and laughed at amongst those in the room.  Those in the room mumbled among themselves to drown her out. All of this disrespect in a church. Once again, I was appalled.
 
What has happened in our society, or in this neighborhood, that people don’t have the right to express their opinion without fear of retaliation.  How sad that in the house of the Lord, the creator of heaven and earth, the creator of horses and humans that people don’t recognize this land is only ours for a moment.  This is his land and he designed it for all of us to share. There is nothing in it for you except the borrowed use of it to survive.
 
After this neighborhood meeting, this self proclaimed community advocate came up to me and shook my hand and said “I’m sorry.  It was not supposed to be like that”. But to me, actions speak louder than words.  If you are going to talk the talk, then walk the walk. As the community leader that started all these problems and controversy, I told him he had the chance to stand up and be a hero here.  He had the chance to turn this around since he had such a strong voice in the community and be a leader, and say, “Let’s welcome these people and the animals and give this a chance before we make a decision”.  “Let’s do what we can to help and make this a good thing in the community.” “Let’s not let this divide us, but unite us, and be part of the solution, not part of the problem.” He had a chance to change the stories he invented and make this right. Maybe this meeting was called in the Lord’s house for a reason.  Maybe he’s giving someone a chance here to change these prejudices of the people carried down from generations past, educate them, and be a true hero.  Sadly, that was not the case.
 
Colonel John Dremesi’s wife Vicki said it well when she said “Do special needs medical conditions apply to our disabled veteran’s as well?”  Are we not to welcome our soldiers home with open arms because they return neglected, abused, sick, or diseased? Or is it just a handshake and “ I’m sorry, it wasn’t supposed to be like that”?
 
On Tuesday, Hopeful Haven Equine Rescue was asked to close operations at the land for the fears of the people.  People spoke of tires being slashed and sugar being put in gas tanks if we continued operations or asked them to speak on our behalf at zoning.  These people have to live in this neighborhood after the sun goes down.  How sad that we have to let these people down and leave. How sad that those who were for us being there have be intimidated for their views to the point they can’t afford to say anything.  This is not a high income neighborhood.  These people can’t afford to replace tires or motors in their vehicles.  How can you prove who did it?  Who’s going to step up and testify against another?  It is cowards that have to resort to these methods.  They saw they didn’t intimidate me, so they intimidate the neighborhood residents.  Cowards I say!!!!!
 
 But everything happens for a reason.  I believe that the Good Lord has something better for us somewhere. Another door will open for us and someone will let the horses be rehabilitated on their land.  Somebody will welcome us into their community with open arms and be a hero here.  If you have at least 25 acres you would be interested in leasing to us for a fair market value tax break in the Stonewall, Keithville, Keatchie, Four Forks, Greenwood, or Springridge area, please call Debra at 318-286-3116.  This will be a facility you will proud of being a part of and having in your community.  Help us to fight the crime of animal cruelty to horses and to progress your community.  Please help us find the Hero in all of this.

Respectfully yours,

Debra Barlow
President &
Animal Cruelty Investigator

P.O. Box 17763
Shreveport, La 71138
www.hopefulhaven.com

Phone numbers:
318-925-4272 home
318-797-6043 fax
318-286-3116 cell (MAIN NUMBER)
318-7977464 work tues & thur 9-3
 
“If ever a horse needs a helping hand, Please God, Let it be ours” “

religion and philosophy

I don’t know that anyone is really reading too much here anyways so I might as well wax philosophical just for the fun of it.  This is the weird stuff that keeps me up at night that makes Mike want to kill me.  We went to Pagan Pride day today.  It was fun, we met some cool people, and it made me think.  I like stuff that makes me think.  See I’m not pagan really, but I like some pagan stuff like fairies and unicorns and herbs and tye-dye tee shirts, and a little yoga is good for anyone, and certianly the history and mythology.  They played a very interesting film on the Spanish Inquisition that is as important for a Christian to know about as a Pagan.  I’m Christian, I’ve read my Bible cover to cover twice, and I know why I believe in it.  Some Christians are so threatened by people who believe differently and I think that’s stupid.  If you know where you stand to begin with, then you should learn what other people believe too and then you can at least have an intelligent conversation with people without insulting them or looking ignorant.  I think I would like to read the koran some day too.  It would be interesting, and I don’t hide when the Jehovah’s witnesses come to the door either.  If they want to talk, lets talk.  But the thing that really bothers me is why does it sometimes seem that the non-Christians are easier to get along with than Christians?  A good friend is a good friend, no matter what their religion.  I have gay friends too, does that make me a bad Christian?  I don’t think it does.  I guess I have a little bit of bitterness towards some Christians from my “proper” upbringing.  I know that’s not what all are like, but its hard to fit in with some good proper Christians when you like dressing up like a pirate and really get into Halloween.  Not that I don’t have good Christian friends, but sometimes I think I get some funny looks, and I’ve never cared much for changing my personality just to fit in.  Course there is C.S. Lewis and Tolkien, they are my heroes (well along with Einstein, but that’s a different topic).  Well, those are my thoughts for the day and I hope I didn’t insult anyone.  Maybe tomorrow I will wish I hadn’t said all this, but I am told that’s what bloggs are for and right now I feel better saying what’s on my mind and now I am going to bed.